Поговорим об этом
Сегодня пришлось к слову: по психосексуальным нормам, с 16 до примерно 29-33 мужчины находятся на генитальном этапе своей сексуальности, где либидо вспыхивает как пожар, а возбуждение опережает влечение. У женщин в это время – эмоциональный этап сексуальности, где секс воспринимается как один из видов близости, а возбуждение зависит от безопасности и влечения.
Примерно с 33-35 лет они меняются местами. У женщин наступает генитальный этап: пик либидо, мужчины могут восприниматься как объект, секс становится ценным процессом сам по себе. У мужчин – эмоциональный, они после сорока начинают хотеть тепла. После 50-ти все относительно уравниваются.
Почему так? С 16 до 29 у молодых мужчин ведущий гормон тестостерон. Он отвечает за активное поисковое поведение, агрессию и инициативу. У женщин в этом возрасте ведущий гормон окситоцин: эволюционная задача вырастить детей и быть стабильной. Окситоцин отвечает за формирование привязанности, доверие, а, значит, за способность строить планы с партнером.
Далее к 35 у нее падает прогестерон. Это гормон второй фазы цикла, а также гормон кормящих матерей. На этом фоне активнее себя ведет эстроген и тестостерон, уровень либидо становится выше. У мужчины после 35-ти будет наоборот. Тестостерон падает, активность меньше, окситоцин поднимает голову.
Поэтому вторые браки и союзы женщины все чаще заключают с мужчинами младше (секс). И мужчины – с женщинами младше (привязанность). Так они, не совпадая по возрасту, совпадают в целях поиска.
Таким образом, пики либидо совпадают у 25-30 летних мужчин и 35-40 летних женщин. Идеальная разница в возрасте для феерического секса 10-15 лет (женщина старше). И пики поиска близости и тепла совпадают у 25-летних женщин и 45-летних мужчин. Это конечно навскидку и приблизительно, но многое объясняет, в частности, возрастные кризисы.
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